Friday, October 8, 2010

Out of the Darkness

I'm back.  You know what?  Depression sucks.  For those of you that struggle with it too, you understand that feeling of being sucked down into the darkness, feeling like there is not only no light at the end of the tunnel, but that there is no end to the tunnel.    Becca made a post on the Micah Facebook page a week or so ago with Amy Grant's song "Better than a Halleluja".  I first heard that when we were in the states in May and thought the lyrics were so beautiful:

God loves a lullaby in a mothers tears in the dead of night, better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves a drunkards cry, the soldiers plea not to let him die better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody.
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life, the dying man giving up the fight are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
The tears of shame for what's been done, the silence when the words won't come are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody.

Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a Hallelujah.

The silence when the words won't come.  The honest cries of breaking hearts.  That's pretty much where I spent September.  No words to pray, no words to write.  It was a struggle to just make it through the day.  And then she reminded me of this song, and that my silence and heartache was beautiful to God.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying this last month.  Outside of the initial 3 months after moving here, September was the hardest month yet here in Honduras.

When I returned from the states after my mom's stroke, Brian was basically completely laid up due to the herniated discs in his neck.  Talk about frustration.  He had just began the school year in the tech school and had to suspend classes 3 days later.  And for a man that has never had to deal with any real physical limitation or pain in his life, having to lie still and do basically nothing for 3 full weeks just about did him in.  I don't know how well we passed that "test" as I was finding it next to impossible to have much sympathy and he was frustrated and feeling like he was letting all his students down. 

But things are moving along.  Classes have resumed in welding and the carpentry classes are off to a fabulous start.  The guys absolutely love working with wood and have already (this week) turned out some organizers for the Micah guys closets.  Brian found a great source for wood - Honduran rosewood, cocobolo, pretty stuff that costs a fortune in the states and is surprisingly cheap here.  Visions of beautiful wooden nightstands, instead of the cardboard boxes I now have, began dancing in my head yesterday as he showed me these beautiful pieces they have to work with.  Juan Carlos, who's almost always a pretty upbeat, positive guy, is just about bursting at the seem with joy as he works in the wood shop.  It is so stinking cool to see.

The spiritual battle continues to rage on.  Several of the younger guys at Micah have been struggling this last couple of months with their addictions, leaving to the streets to use and then coming back.  It's a day to day, sometimes hour to hour fight for these kids.  And not just the little ones, the older guys in the Monday night discipleship are under attack all the time as well.  The hopelessness that permeates the barrio, the city, the country is so oppressive.  Trying to show them there is hope, but only in Christ, can be challenging.  They have been working through John and last Monday they got to John 1:45-47 where Phillip tells Nathaniel that Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah, the one written about by the prophets.  Nathaniel says "Nazareth?  Can anything good come from Nazareth?"  Brian began to put that into their lives, how other people will talk down to them, kick dirt in thier face and say "nothing good can come from Barrio Buenos Aires."  But something good can come from that Barrio, and it starts with them. 

Almost as if to put an exclamation point on it, something amazing happened this week.  Marlon was one of the first students in the Tech School.  He found out about it through word on the street and asked Brian if he could be a part of the program.  He has consistently showed up for class and disccipleship, pushed himself to the limit, taken on challenges that have been put before him.  He's determined to be a man of Godly character, he's focused, and he's hungry.  Part of the school contract states that the students have to be actively looking for work, for any kind of work.  Well, Marlon had been looking and yesterday he announced that he had been hired by a company that manufactures playground a welder.  He took the training he had received in the Tech School, applied for the job, then took and passed the welding exam.  Monday morning he starts his new job making 1900 lempiras a week, 28% higher than the minimum wage here and a pretty decent salary for working Hondurans.  Eight months after the first class began we have our first student to land a job using the skills that he learned in the school!

If could do a back flip I would!  Yes, something good can come out of Barrio Buenos Aires!  Something good is coming out of Barrio Buenos Aires!  All praise and Glory to God, for He is the one that is making all of this happen.

Marlon sitting in front on the right.

Marlon standing on the left.


Niffer said...

How wonderful - tangible fruits from your ministry. Marlon is such a great guy, I'm praying this is the beginning of many great blessings for him.

Romans 8:26-27 I'm so thankful that with the Holy Spirit, words aren't necessary to reach out to God.

Love you Wiggs Family!

Laurie said...

Nice song lyrics. Been there, too. Sometimes there is no prayer, nothing but a whisper. Of desperation for God to help. Glad you are moving along.

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing writer. I love when you have a post on here and you do so well keeping us updated on what you all are doing. Praying for you all. Treena

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