Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Living In the Crosshairs

It has been almost 2 months since I wrote a meaningful post and I apologize. These first few months of 2011 have shaken me up quite a bit. In January I wrote about how we were feeling discouraged and posed the question, just how do you keep going when things get tough? You just gotta keep breathing.

More was yet to come. During January I felt the Lord prompting me to fast from refined sugar for the month of February. Sugary things are my “go to” food when I am stressed out, angry, sad, just name the feeling. Give me a feed bag filled with Oreos on a bad day and I can just feel all those emotions being buried down deep so the prospect of fasting from sugar, then, was a little unnerving for a couple of reasons. First, hello?! No sugar? And second, what was coming in February that I was going to need to spend minutes normally noshing on Snickers bars in prayer?

Not knowing what was coming down the pike I told the Lord I would be obedient and follow His lead. The first 3 days were awful, it felt like I had the flu. I was sick to my stomach, had raging headaches, felt dizzy, achy. This showed me that not only was I relying on sugary snacks for my “strength”, but that my body was so physically accustomed to the constant infusion of sugar that I was actually having withdrawals. Crazy stuff, but every time I would get a craving for candy, I prayed. And then on February 6th it all started – a major family blow up in the states that was emotionally exhausting, financial problems personally and in ministry, one of the tech school students caught stealing tools, more problems with our rental house falling on the deaf ears of our landlord, driving the kids to school and passing by just minutes after an attorney was murdered in his car, Brian having to go to the city morgue and literally physically pick up the dead body of Hectorcito’s brother and haul him in the truck to the funeral home, then digging the grave the next day. We were being hammered from every imaginable side and it was relentless.

Our God is so good though. He prompted me to give up my security blanket and rely on Him, I vowed to be obedient, and He held me up through all of it. He blessed us further by sending Mary Hunter here for a week, giving me my friend to stand with me in the midst of the chaos. Her ears were almost bleeding I’m quite sure from my venting, but she was Mary – loving, supportive, encouraging, and I am so grateful she listened to God and came to be with us.  Other than that, it’s just bon bons and Spanish soap operas as Brian likes to say.

Oh, and by the way, I'm continuing to live sugar free.  God has released me to eat it if I want to, but I don't.  He is so much better. 

Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers. We are gearing up for the last few months before we head to the states for a break and have much to do between now and then. Peace and blessings to you all!

1 comment:

Laurie Matherne said...

Te quiero! I love you. Hang in there!

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